I never thought I would meet the man of my dreams, let alone get married, especially in my late 40’s. I was married briefly in my early 20’s. It was a wedding coordinated by my mother. Her excitement in planning social events, and my lack of being true to myself, overshadowed the fact that I did not want to get married. The show went on. It was totally her wedding. I was unmarried shortly thereafter.
Fast forward 20 some years later. I meet an amazing man, Jordan, and we match perfectly. Unbelievable! In the beginning of our relationship I knew I wanted to spend forever with him, not even thinking about marriage. I was nearing 50 years old and was ecstatic to have actually been a victim of true love’s fate and destiny! Jordan proposed! He had been married before (twice), and we are older, so I really thought we would secure our vows courthouse style and celebrate with a vacay. But, as I perused wedding dresses on the Internet (and he suits) and we thought of wedding songs, how could we not have an actual wedding? We wanted to celebrate our love for each other in a special, meaningful and memorable way. And, it would be mine, well OUR wedding!
Many people thought we were crazy to have a wedding at our age. My dad’s words, “WHY would you spend all that money when you can go elope”. My response, “Because we waited a long time for each other, and we’re doing it our way”! Being in middle age doesn’t mean you have to lay low, follow some unwritten rules of society, and suppress from the world the exquisite and unconditional love for each other. Often times, with age comes the appreciation and understanding of real love. The best part is that because we’re older, we know exactly what we want, what we like, and exactly how to celebrate!
When older adults decide to have a wedding, people raise an eyebrow or two. Some say it’s a waste of money or maybe a waste of time. It’s never considered a waste of money for young couples, and we all know the statistics of divorce rates. Why would people have the opinion that it’s a waste of money for financial sound couples in their 40’s , 50’s or beyond? Jordan put it this way, “Why would a person get married a second time, and downplay it like it’s not a big thing. It’s like telling the second person they’re not as important”. People have their own preferences, but seriously, if you’re over 40 , in love and committing to marriage, then celebrate it with the dignity and flair it deserves!
Planning a wedding in this stage of life is an amazing experience. We kept everything simple, but simple doesn’t mean plain or boring. Our planning involved everything we love, from food, drink, colors, music, and place without stress. I’ll be sharing additional posts on My Midlife Wedding on how we planned, executed and concluded our wedding day.
Joie!
Maggie
